Black Tie: Fashion Etiquette Not Optional

While we live in an era touting inner beauty, it would be a lie to say that appearance doesn't matter--and what would that mean for a fashionista anyway? I mean, don't rob a girl of her whole raison être! In the immortal words of Mark Twain, "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

Speaking of society, let's talk artsy elite, shall we? This past Saturday marked the date for the Museum of Fine Arts' Summer Party, and in true artsy fashion was themed as a masquerade ball, a black-tie fundraiser featuring fine art, music and dancing, and a silent art auction. Proceeds from this annual gala benefit the Museum Council Artist-in-Residency Program and also provide operating support for the MFA and its collections. As if we could say no to a masquerade, India and I were in attendance at this fabulous, sold-out event (obvi)...

Of course, as a black tie event, this gala merited a very specific dress code that we spent months preparing for--as well as all of Saturday afternoon in hair and make-up. Etiquette goddess Emily Post dictates the following for black tie attire:

• For men, black tuxedo jacket and matching trousers; with a formal (piqué or pleated front) white shirt; a black bow tie (silk, shiny satin or twill); a black cummerbund to match tie, or a vest; dressy suspenders to ensure a good fit (optional); black patent shoes and black dress socks; no gloves.
  
• For women, formal (floor length) evening gown or short, dressy cocktail dress.

I have to admit, I was surprised that Miss Post actually allowed the short cocktail dress faction into the black tie fold. I was sure she was a traditionalist! But, long or short, there is a certain degree of formality that is required of any black tie attire, and we were a little bit shocked to notice the number gala-goers who didn't understand this concept.

While I can concede that the short dress was not the black tie fashion faux pas I originally thought it to be, there were numerous other fashion etiquette violations. Since I'm such a blatant mean girl, it's worth noting that you can do all sorts of watching and judging from safely behind a mask when you're at a masquerade ball (added bonus!), which is precisely how we observed the following black tie DON'Ts:

-short to the extent that underwear was visible (don't you feel the breeze?)

-too short for your age (if you have grandchildren, I shouldn't be able to see your thighs)

-long dresses wrapped around the neck for some scandalous dance-floor grinding (why this is wrong should be self-explanatory)

-opaque black tights with mini-skirts (not only is it not winter, but let's be real about the definition of "formal")

-wedding gowns (if you could wear it to your wedding, then save it)

To be fair, I too harbored some misconceptions about black tie etiquette. Though the Milla gown was spot on, who knew that I could have rocked my black on black floral Marc Jacobs cocktail dress? But there is just no excuse for these other offenses--especially when it comes to a museum gala. Did the guilty parties not get the memo that this was a classy event?

Regardless, it was a masquerade for the ages, and there were just as many--if not more--gorgeous gowns and well-executed ensembles than there were fashion fiascoes. Perhaps my favorite look was actually one of the short, formal cocktail dresses (yes, I did learn my lesson). This fashion-forward masquerader wore a more formal amalgamation of a trench dress, made of brushed silk in a light champagne color, with delicate cap sleeves and a flirty bubble skirt. If I only knew the designer I would snatch one up for myself! As it is, I have already spent too much time searching Google Images...

Then, at the stroke of midnight our horse-drawn carriage turned back into a Volvo, and two tired masqueraders took off their masks (and shoes) and made their way home. However, I'm already thinking about next year--and who knows? Maybe I'll give a shortie a chance, something you might never have expected to hear from a tall girl. More attention on the shoes, right?

PS. Looks like we played our fashion cards right! Check out the event coverage from Boston's own Stuff Magazine at http://stuffboston.com/photos/partypics/category11454/picture399296.aspx and fellow blogger Finance Foodie at http://www.financefoodie.com/2009/06/mfa-summer-masquerade-party-boston.html!

Images in order of appearance: (1/2) Laura and India--with masks and without; (3) Mary-Kate Olsen wearing a white bubble dress and platforms with hot pink accents, image from http://www.styletips101.com/; (4) Lauren Conrad wearing a black and crimson floral-inspired bubble dress, image from http://meshandlace.typepad.com/.