Trendless at Twilight

Edward Cullen? Yes, please. Kristen Stewart? Stay off the red carpet! Or at least change your shoes first...

If you have spoken to me in the last month, then you know that I have officially left reality and have settled on semi-permanent hiatus in the world of Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, and the gloriously beautiful yet tortured vampires and wolves dominating the Twilight saga. Hello, my name is Lolly, and I am a Twilight addict. Yes, it's sad but true; I am 25 going on 13.

Now that my disclosure is out of the way, even if you're NOT a Twilight fan, chances are you tuned into the MTV Video Awards on May 31 and were just as horrified by Kristen Stewart's appearance as I was. No exaggerating, she looked like she spent some time smoking crack and/or getting hit by a Mac truck prior to her arrival on the red carpet. Do I own a pair of black Converse? Yes. Do I adore them? Yes. Would I wear them on the red carpet? Hellllll, NO!

The frustrating part is that Kristen Stewart is a beautiful girl, and I have to believe that she is fully capable of either a) dressing herself appropriately (if not well), or b) hiring a stylist to do the work for her (Do Converse match this dress?). After all, witness exhibit A (left), where Miss Kristen looked totally vamp-chic in a black one-shoulder bubble mini-dress and black heels, with her better half at her side for the Twilight premiere in London last year. So I have to wonder, what was she thinking with the Converse look?

To give her the benefit of the doubt, there is something to be said for punk rock. New designers like Alexander Wang fuse classic lines with punk rock detailing for an edgy modern look, while seasoned veterans like Dame Vivienne Westwood have been credited for bringing modern punk to high fashion since the 70s.

Over the past several years, the punk look has gone progressively mainstream--making the real punk rockers question the authenticity of this new wave, singers like Avril Lavigne, who are just a little to princessy to be punk. Nonetheless, there is certainly a place for punk on the runway and--by default--the red carpet.

That said, err we stray too far from the Twilight faction, let's get back to the subject at hand. My lovely sister, perpetually dialed in, found the fabulous blog, Go Fug Yourself, that shares a penchance for the fashion/Twilight overlap (there are others out there--whew). I am SO on the same page as featured blogger, Heather, who furiously writes:

REALLY? Because the dress actually works a bit with the punk-princess sensibility she tries to work sometimes, but wouldn't this be a hundred times hotter -- yet STILL edgy -- with, say, Ashley Tisdale's shoes here? And did I really just tell Kristen Stewart to learn something from one of the stars of High School Musical? YES. I DID. Do you see what the lazy Converse have done to me?

Heather is right; Kristen's Yigal Azrouël embroidered taffeta dress is both totally acceptable AND totally appropriate for a lovely and rebellious starlet such as herself. But I don't think it would kill her to embrace fame and fabulousness with a bit more graciousness, a bit more reverence for all the devoted fans and fortune that brought her to that precise red carpet moment. I'm all for personal style, but sneakers have a time and place--and that place should never include the red carpet.

If it seems like I'm bashing poor Kristen, that was never my intent. I just find it utterly maddening that someone with so many resources at hand and (I'm guessing) so many designers and stylists clamoring to dress the new "It Girl," that Converse are what she resorts to when it comes to footwear. At the end of the day, you can make all of the rebellious, punk rock, shocking statements in the world--but you can absolutely do it fashionably.

My advice for Kristen? Two words: Christian Louboutin. Ever classy, Christian Louboutin also revels in edgy fashion to the very core. In fact, the Mad Mary Suede Mary Janes are just what the doctor ordered for a high fashion moment like the red carpet. Just the shoes would make all the difference--and perhaps let us overlook the unwashed, untamed hair and the social awkwardness, instead chalking it all up to charm.

Unfortunately, there is so much more to be said about the trendlessness of the Twilight elite, but I'm running out of room, and I'm guessing that you're probably running out of patience too. So, in conclusion, let's revisit one of the most crucial rules of fashion: it's all about the shoes. While the shoes can make the outfit, they can just as easily break the outfit into a million little pieces. So keep things simple--just leave the Converse at home.

Images: (1) Kristen Stewart at the MTV Video Awards, photo posted on the fabulously Twilight-obsessed blog, Go Fug Yourself (http://http://http//gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/); (2) Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson in London, photo from Reel Movie News at http://www.reelmovienews.com/; (3) looks from Vivienne Westwood's Red Label autumn/winter 09/10 collection at London Fashion Week, photo by Philip Hollis, courtesy of the Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/); (4) Mad Mary Suede Mary Janes by Christian Louboutin $860, available online at www.christianlouboutin.com.